Enlarged in the Waiting

Remember that Christmas after you found out Santa Claus wasn't real? A total let down right. I've been trying to bring the "magic" back into Christmas for years. 

Christmas Day itself actually, is often times a let down. It's just one, single day. And before you know it, it's dark outside and you're sitting on the couch in some sort of sugar/food/gift coma surrounded by empty boxes wondering where the heck you're gonna find space for all of your new stuff.

I don't believe Christmas was meant to be just a one-shot-a-year deal. Hello, the 12 Days of Christmas? But even before Christmas Day arrives, there's excitement in the waiting. The anticipation. Days brimming with hope. And if you're the kind that follows, is interested in or even just intrigued by Jesus, there is MUCH to expect. The type of expectation that won't let you down. 

Around Easter time this past year I referenced a book called "Living the Christian Year" by Bobby Gross. Next to the Bible, I would venture to say that this book has had the most impact on my spiritual journey than any other book I've read. On the subject of Advent, he quotes another author who beautifully describes the waiting we do during Advent. 

"Of all types of waiting, the waiting of pregnancy is most like the waiting that we do during Advent. The waiting of pregnancy is like the waiting we do for God." - Wendy Wright from her book Keeping Watch in the Season of Christ's Coming

Think about it. When someone is pregnant they are consumed by it. And often times, so are the people around them. We throw parties and give gifts. We have such hopes and dreams of the future to come. It's all we can talk about. Scripture captures this beautifully:

All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Romans 8:22-25 The Message

In a way it's obvious. Christmas is about the birth of a baby. Mary was obviously pregnant. Of course pregnancy is the epitome of anticipation.

So things have been happening around the Martin household, both inward and outward, in light of this season of waiting. More on that later. For now, I'll leave you with a little something else from Mr. Bobby Gross:

"Advent is a season for waiting; we wait for the coming of God. We need him to come. Our world is messed up and we are messed up. We lament our condition and long for God to set things right, to make us better. So we pray and watch for signs of his presence. We do all we know to do so that we are open and ready. In the midst of hardship and disappointment we continue to wait. We wait in hope. We believe that something is happening in our world, something is taking shape in our lives, something large, light-filled and life-giving. Even in December's lengthening darkness, this seed of joyful hope grows within us. We are pregnant with it. In our waiting, we are enlarged. God is coming!"

After the Aruna

Weeks ago, on November 10th I participated in the Aruna 5K.

It. Was. Awesome.

There's nothing like being surrounded by a hundred some people who are all pumped up for the same reason. In this case the reason was freedom. Freedom for the women (and children) who are entrapped in sexual slavery. Each runner pushing their body out of their comfort zone. Running, panting, pushing for a cause. We had hoped to raise $5,000 for this first-ever race. A little over $8,000 was brought in and more than that was the amount of awareness that was raised. What a great platform to let people know THIS IS A PROBLEM AND IT'S REAL AND IT'S NOT GOING AWAY UNLESS WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It was a beautiful day and a powerful event. Thanks for whatever way you might have supported this cause. It is making a difference. I'm convinced.

I ran the race well. Steady pace, no stopping, no slowing down, and a strong finish. I crossed the finish line around 31 mins with adreneline pumping. I hadn't ran a full 3.1 during my training so I was relieved I made it. I'm still not all that hot on running, but I don't hate it. That's pretty huge.

For the Martin family, our journey in spreading awareness and supporting the battle to end human trafficking continues. God has enabled  us to support The Daughter Project in a very special way. Ask us about it some time :)

Shot gun start.

The last 1/2 mile.

My #1 fan. This guy was at each mile marker cheering me on, which means

he had to run faster than I did get there. Super sweet. Might have been my

favorite part of the race...

 I chose to run for Mona. There was a poster board with a list of names of

women in the red light district in India who have been identified and whom the

workers from the Aruna project have begun relationships with in an effort to get them out.

My prayer is that Mona's name will be crossed off when we have this race again next year.

Aruna

Field day was the most dreaded day of the school year for me. And only for one reason: running. I like sports and would consider myself athletic, but when it comes to running, I've just always dreaded it. Particularly on field day when they lined you up on the track against your peers and made you race to the finish. No matter how hard I pushed I always came in last or second to last. It was like those nightmares when you're running from the bad guy and you're just not going anywhere. Ug.

I married a runner. And I'm amazed and inspired by him. And now all these other people in my life have taken up running, even my own mother! (don't take it the wrong way mom, I'm just especially impressed because you're more "seasoned" in life ;) For anyone who has watched the Biggest Loser, these crazily obese people end up running marathons by the end! It seems like you runners just decide to do it. So when I heard of the Aruna 5K, I made my decision that I would "just do it". And to me, there is no better cause to run for.

The issue of human trafficking is gaining awareness. Have you heard about it? In the news? On the web? Through a friend? It's very real. Near and far. Greed and addiction. Money and sex. A dangerously powerful combination. It's so heart-wrenching, sickening even that many just can't/don't/won't admit it's a problem, or even acknowledge it.

And that's why I'll run. Because the things I might experience: fear, anxiousness, self-consciousness, loss of pride, physical pain are things that these women experience every day. Again and again. And that is what will keep me going. In the scheme of things this 5K is no big deal. But I will remember the symbolism in my running. And temporarily sacrificing some of my own comfort is the least I can do. I can run for their freedom.

Half-Hearted Motherhood

As I've wrestled with having balance in my  life (see previous post), it's been clear that this take a toll on my mothering. It's been half-hearted. Distracted. Selfish even. Those thoughts have crept into my head and sometimes make them across my lips, "I just want to eat my dinner." "I just want to go to the bathroom (alone)." "I just want to _______." And while these thoughts and comments might seem harmless, it doesn't make my children feel loved and important- which they are. I'm sure it probably throws a tinge of guilt their way because they are the reason I can't "just _____". They're preceptive and can read the resentment in my tone.

So there's a blog that I read from time to time. It is encouraging, enlightening, inspiring and real. The author is about my age with 3 little ones. She is into natural living, the art of homemaking and lives out her faith in the midst of her motherhood. I went there looking for some type of lift. Something to help me feel not so alone and ridiculous. I found it. A guest blogger posted on Whole-Hearted Motherhood. Check out here if you'd like.

But here's an excerpt that resonated in my soul. She quotes another author and then writes:

Her beautiful description of whole-hearted mothering–in contrast to my own messy attempts at being the mom I wished I could be while juggling so many other balls–prompted me to pray a dangerous prayer.

“Lord, change my heart toward my children.”

I wanted to view them not as distractions, mess makers, and cute-but-time-consuming barriers between me and my definitions of success, but as gifts that allowed me to be what I’d always wanted to be: a mother. I wanted them to become my highest priority, and I knew that required heart change, not another set of rules or a new schedule.

It is time for me to pray that prayer as well. Here we go...

Woman of the Future

Time flies.
They grow up so fast.
It all happens in the blink of an eye.
I find these statements to be true. I've only been doing this mothering thing for 3 years now, but I see the truth and reality in what everyone seems to say.

It's not just kids though. Time flies. Period. My heart and my mind have felt caution about this. Caution about busyness I suppose.

When someone asks you, "How are you doing?, does your response include the word busy?
"Good, but busy." "Busier than I'd like!" "Oh, things are busy right now..." 

What's with the epidemic of busyness? Please, someone give me some answers. I battle it all the time. And it bleeds into every part of life. Particularly family, friends and food. Those are 3 areas that I've seen busyness really attack- at least in my life. My relationships seems to take a serious blow when busyness strikes. Even when I'm actually spending time with my friends and family in the midst of busyness, I am not fully present. I am living in the future. The lists are forming in my head and next steps are being plotted. And when I am a woman of the future, I am grievously missing the present.

Fast food. And I'm not just talking McDonalds. I'm talking the loss of a table and chairs and people sitting in them. The loss of REAL food. You know, when time and ingredients are mixed together with love and care and conscience. Planning, purchasing and preparing meals takes time. Sure does. And I'm afraid we don't do those things when we get busy. I'm afraid the health of thousands of people has and will continue to pay the cost for our lack of care because we can't or won't take the time to plan or prepare or even think about what goes into our bodies.

So what's a girl to do? I know as our children get older there will only be more and more opportunities for things to get sucked into do. For me, it begins with a discerning spirit. There's got to be a balance between what I plan and being flexible. I don't want to miss out on something the Lord has for me because it's not written on my calendar. I REALLY don't want that. Would love to hear thoughts, advice, experiences that are out there. Even if it's just an AMEN-I'm with ya.

Big Boy Room Makeover (and other budget savvy decor ideas)

I've been itching to get these pictures up ever since Asher's room was updated for his 3rd birthday in August. When we moved into this house he was barely two, so we just transfered all the nursery decor  to his new room. However, we decided that his third birthday would be a great time to put him into a big boy bed and add some other big boy touches. Check out the before and afters:

The details:

The wall decor above the bed was made with fabric and pizza boxes! I love the look of stretched canvases, but these were a much cheaper option. I simply stapled the fabric to the box after wrapping it around the edges like you would when wrapping a gift. Seriously took less than 5 mins for each.

The blue shelves I found at a thrift store for $2.92 each. One was pink and one was purple, so I painted them with leftover blue paint from another piece I painted for Asher's room. A few of the picture frames I also got a thrift store, painted with craft paint and then spayed with a clear gloss enamel for a finished look.

The crate (50 cents) was originally unfinished wood that I spray painted white and believe it or not, I got the Lightning McQueen pic at Goodwill too! Although it was a bit of a splurge at $5 ;)

And like every time I am kid-free at a thrift store, I got a little sidetracked by a few things. One was this cute little crate. Just perfect to hang on the wall for a small shelf in the downstairs bathroom. 50 cents.

Then I spotted some really great fabric. Turns out they were two very long pillow cases. Also turns out that they fit perfectly draped over the bare curtain rod, also in the downstairs bathroom. Linens were half off that day, so that brought them to a quarter a piece- 50 cents total.

So there's some decorating-on-a-dime ideas for ya! Okay, so closer to decorating on 50 cents, but still, not too shabby :) Would love to hear other cheap-o home beautifying ideas!

Perspective

Ever since we moved into our house (it's been almost a year now!) I've always been a little bummed about our yard- or lack thereof. I remember seeing pics of the house on-line and was so excited to drive by it, only to be completely disappointed that it was a corner lot and had virtually no backyard. I almost discounted it as a prospect all together. So glad I didn't. It took a little convincing from Ben (and the Lord), but here we are. And I gotta say- I like our yard. It might not be private. No, not at all. It might not be large, just long and narrow. But we have shade back there all morning long, until about 1 o'clock. And the swing set is in the shade most of the day. The narrowness still allows for a game of catch. A big plus around here. The indistinct property line blends into the yard of some of the most warm and kind people, who welcome our kids and their mowers and bouncing balls right over the boundary. Happily. They have grown-children and are grandparents. They get it. What a blessing.

The deck is amazing. A mini yard in itself. An outdoor living room. And placing a gate at the end of it makes for the perfect play place for kiddos who want to be outside when Mama needs to be inside cooking dinner. And the privacy? I guess we don't really have anything to hide. Laying out in a bikini these days does not happen, for a few reasons... And actually it's quite great to see the neighbors going by. Golf carts putting along to the golf course nearby. Folks in their towels and flips flops coming back from the pool. People of all ages on a stroll to the park. Even a horse and carriage trotted by the other night while we had dinner on the deck. The established trees form a canopy over what I consider one of the most beautiful streets in Bowling Green, North Maple. We've got a great perspective of these beautifully aged homes and trees that beckon us from our back windows and yard. So as the kids and I spent a long morning outside this week I thought to myself, "I like our back yard." And so it is. I like it and rejoice in how it suits us. God knew. I'm usually just slow to embrace.

Picnic lunch on a perfect summer day.

Holdin hands swinging. Precious.

Another outdoor lunch.