Monday, March 11, 2013

Bright Sadness

I miss writing. This blog is an outlet. A release to my soul. Whether it's something profound (which it usually isn't) or the latest craft I've been working on, I like to share. I don't consider myself to be a particularly great writer. But I am an open book.

It's been a dark winter in my soul. I've always been a glass-half-full kinda gal. Optimistic to say the least. Mostly unlikely to be bent toward depression. But I've really struggled with sadness in my heart in recent days. Anger at times. Mostly just blah. It's unfamiliar territory, which is the hardest part of all.

But amidst the gloominess in my heart and in the outdoors, there is the hope and joy of spring. The days are becoming brighter, warmer. The dust and dinginess within me is yearning for the celebration of Easter- the great reminder of what God has done to restore my heart, my soul, my mind. All of me. A true occasion to celebrate.

And so I wait in this bright sadness. I embrace the reality of the less-than-beautiful outside and my less-than-beautiful inside. I open my heart to the one who created the outdoors and who knit me together inside my mother's womb. The one who will make things new again. Beautiful again. Soon.


Kelli Blinn said...

I miss your posts and would love to get to have a peek inside your head and heart a little more often. Ya know, for what my two cents are worth. I've had a little bit more dust and gray within me this season too and I'm ready to kick it to the curb along with the other stuff I'm moving out as I do spring cleaning. Here's to sunny days, warmer weather and Jesus who rose on the third day to give us new life!

Laura said...

Oh I hear you. Gray winter days and enforced time indoors can test even the sturdiest optimism.

I'm tempted to suggest boosting your vitamin D, iron, and magnesium levels---those tend to be low in the winter and are linked to melancholy and mood swings. Taking these has helped me.

I'm also tempted to say that my lowest times have been necessary (only in retrospect). Dark times of depression and lethargy have cracked me open to new awareness, greater growth, and seeing light where I hadn't known it existed.

But you haven't asked for opinions. You are a woman who writes beautifully. And what you write, even with sadness, comes from a profound place. I feel lifted just reading the way you express the truth.

Kaitlyn said...

You are a gem and SO appreciate! Love you lots and praying this winter gloom lifts! XOXO