Thursday, December 3, 2009
Parenting Philosophy What?
I was talking with a friend the other day about getting our babies to nap, sleep, yada yada yada and she remarked, "I don't know WHAT my parenting philosophy is!" Then that same day another friend commented, "Yeah, when I was pregnant I told myself I'm not going to do this or that. I'll NEVER take my kid to bed with me...". These comments so resonated with me as I've read book after book that suggest to "always do this..." or "never do that...". Whatever happened to maternal instinct??? For example, I feel overwhelmed in the area of sleep. From day one in the back of my head I've been thinking: Okay, now try to put him down awake so he can teach himself to fall asleep on his own... He needs to be in his crib whenever he sleeps... Don't rock or nurse him to sleep or he'll be dependent on that... And the list goes on. Then one day, while my head was buzzing with all the voices of the books I've read, I thought, How is this enjoyable for either of us? My baby is a BABY. He might need help getting to sleep, to be cuddled when it's inconvenient, to eat even though I think he shouldn't need to. So to all those moms out there who feel pulled this way and that: trust in YOURSELF. You know your baby way better than any stranger who writes a book ever will. Books are helpful, but I can't let them determine what I do as a mother or cause me to judge others because "Oh I read you shouldn't do that...". I know I'll continue to read as Asher grows, but sometimes I just need to what feels right, even if I "shouldn't do that".