Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Caught Up

Yep, that's me. Caught up in the season, but for all the wrong reasons. I just had a "come to Jesus" meeting with myself (and Jesus) last night. It's been long overdue. One of those things that I've been putting off each day for tomorrow- except tomorrow never comes. Each year I promise myself that I'm not going to get overwhelmed. I'll keep things simple, focus on the true meaning of the season. As my favorite high school English teacher often quoted, "'The road to hell is paved with good intentions'". (and I guess Madonna quotes it in her song with Justin, but I heard it from Mr. Pierce first) While putting a shopping trip aside last night, I think I was able to surrender some things. Some of them trivial, like Christmas cards. I never have been one for doing them, but I thought they'd be great to start once we had a little one. Well it's turned out to be nothing but a stressor for me. Gotta find the perfect picture or have someone take one, find something cheap cuz once you send one you have to send them to bloody everybody and do it all super quick cuz guess what: Christmas is next week. And you know what the really sick thing is? It was more of a selfish ambition than it was a generous thing. I just basically wanted to show off my baby and for people to hang his sweet face on their wall or whatever it is you do with your Christmas cards, more than send a greeting to let people know how much we love and appreciate them. So no Christmas cards for Sara. I cut myself off before I could even get started. Other things surrendered were not as trivial, at least not in my twisted head. Consuming thoughts of my post partum weight/body. Really? It's one thing to want to be healthy and look healthy, but I need to let go of obsessing over my muffin top for the time being. "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" says the Lord. Let's see... what else. Oh, the house. I don't know when, but some time recently I decided not to be content with my home any more. Mainly a space factor, but nonetheless, a decent amount of brain power has been spent on I bet our house would have sold if we would have just kept it on the market... In our next house... This is only temporary. We have a kid now, we NEED more room. Sure it's a bummer to not be able to house an international student or someone in need and to put family on the couch when they come to stay, but we have a HOUSE. A warm, dry, safe home. What is my deal?

Enough of the specifics, you get the point. My mind(and time) has been consumed by things that stress me out and are ultimately meaningless. So what can you surrender today that might make more room for the Savior this Christmas season? After all, he is the Prince of Peace. And who couldn't use a little peace these days?


Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your heart, Sara. It refreshed my soul to read this :) This morning on the radio I heard a speaker talking about the gospel and how the reason we give gifts at Christmas is because God gave us the greatest gift ever when He gave us His Son. It was sweet to just sit and reflect on how rich I am because of God's unmerited generosity toward me. I can get way too caught up in the stress of the season, too, and those little moments of perspective are needed and sweet. I admire you for recognizing when your thoughts are getting out of control and having the discipline to rein yourself in and take it back to Jesus. I hope you guys have a very Merry Christmas!!

Jimmy said...

sara you are beautiful inside and out. thank you for sharing your heart. it was timely for me. love you friend.

Ellen said...

What a mother can learn from a daughter - or should I say re-learn as I've had these conversations with myself about being 'caught up' so frequently I'm beginning to think I need someone to clonk me in the head and tell me to settle down and be GRATEFUL! God is so good - we have so much - we should always work to do better but stress... naw - just look into the face of that little guy and let it all come into perspective. I can't wait to be able to do that too.... the G-Mudder is longing for some Ashertime for Christmas!